Today is Take Your Kid to Work Day and I have to wonder how many folks are brave enough to try it. Lurking behind each smile will be the worries about the myriad of embarrassing things that could happen. You know your kids pretty well, and work is certainly not the most exciting place for you either soooo… it stands to reason that a disaster is inevitable.

This morning schedules will be cleared, conference rooms taken over with crayons and pencils and peanut butter sandwiches will be on every menu. Impromptu meetings will be started with a quick wink at the parent and a “Hate to bother your but…” and will be handled with no arguing or slamming of paperwork. Today games can be played on the computer, doodles drawn on notepads in meetings and long lunches are allowed. Cool!

My boys are with their Dad at work. I admit I warned him to only take one since I have them at work everyday together and well, they are my boys. They were so proud and excited to be invited and he was looking forward to taking them. I can’t wait to hear the stories about how cool Dad’s work is.

Enjoy your kids today. Show them off and you may even be amazed when they don’t embarrass you.

Learned to ride your two-wheeler… Swam in the lake with Dad for the first time…Hugged and kissed lots…Were constantly building nests in my house with furniture blankets and pillows…Got a new feather pillow for Christmas but still could not sleep without your favorite (but yucky and thin) old one…

Fell off your bike on the bike path and threw a doozy of a fit… Got back on and rode to the truck… Filmed your brother’s preschool graduation and did a great job… Earned the nickname Domenic Scorsesi…Went to New York City for the first time…

Loved dinosaurs, Pokemon and your buddy Zach… Learned to use a sewing machine and made balsam pillows for Christmas for the family…Snuggled on the big bed… Understood what it meant to be without your brother for a couple of hours…Got up at 6:30 every school morning even when you could sleep in and he could not…

Found out the Internet has fun pictures of your favorite characters… Learned to love video games… Dreamed of being five and going to Kindergarten…Wanted to own a Pikachu…Wrote I Love You Grammy without any help…

Loved to make your Dad proud… …Stopped throwing temper fits…Are sleeping through every night… Got asked if you ever stop talking…Make us proud all the time …Can eat five tacos in one sitting…Grew 2 and ¾ inches…

And then you turned five… I love you very much my littlest baby boy

Happy Birthday

    Our family recently had a recipe brainstorming session. This was decided after several phone calls revealed that with all the new diet restrictions folks had this year due to medical issues we would either have one large salad or 7 main dishes at the next family gathering. Hopefully we will find one or two gems this year that will become a party favorite for years to come. We are working on creating new traditions this year.

The challenge has been to come up with recipes that are low fat, sugar free, milk free and still taste good enough to share at a family get together. Armed with pen and paper we wrote down substitutions, crossed off recipes that could not be altered and came up a menu that made everyone happy (and able to eat!) It is a lot harder than it sounds, especially when you are talking about the traditional holiday favorites like baked Ham, caramelized onions, mashed potatoes and three types of dessert.

It was funny that we did not really notice the difference in menu items until April this year. April is a very busy month for our family. There are several birthdays and anniversaries and also the holiday pops up in there somewhere each year. Hunting through my recipe books to find the newest sweet treat to offer the sugar challenged has been interesting and frustratingat the same time.

The good news of all of this is that in our supportive family everyone is really concerned about the others. So the new recipes take center stage this year. As the seasons change we will all be on the lookout for the newest magazine recipe that meets the requirements. My recipe book will begin to fill with handwritten notes from friends that have faced some of the same challenges and found a wonderful recipe to pass on. Some will be duds, and will never be seen again, but in the bunch will be one or two that will be asked for at the next party and again the next year. That is how tradition begins isn’t it? Aunt Sue always brings her milk free chocolate fudge cake and the recipe is passed down and eventually the holiday is just not the same without it.

I am looking forward to trying some new foods and starting some new traditions but I hope no new restriction will be added to the list. It is challenging enough already!

Ahhh…Vacation week naps. They are a wonderful gift…until you sneak a peek and then POOF! 

There is the chance of school vacation visitors this week and cleaning is on the agenda for Monday morning. Mind you I am not cleaning for the kids who will toss popcorn on the floor and smear crayons on the table. The cleaning is for the Moms who may enter my house and finally discover the truth…I am a slob.

Now I know word gets around and it probably isn’t really a secret that I am a slob. With each new friend my son gains there comes the question, “When can Billy come over here?” I say; “When the house is clean enough for his Mom.” Both the boys groan. I guess they are realizing that if a clean house and friends go together the friends will almost certainly lose out. As a Mom this makes me cringe just a little bit. I know that my house should be neat as a pin and ready for visitors with minimal clean up. This has never been the case…and I fear it never will be.

I am not proud of this and make up any excuse in my mind for why it doesn’t matter. No one sees it anyway and the kids destroy any sign of my work in less than 20 minutes. It is April and the dog tracks in mud every day. In March it was the same excuse but who is keeping track. I hate cleaning! (oops did I say that out loud as an excuse?)

The cleaning must do list for visitors looks something like this. Clean kitchen floor, remove stacks of dishes from counter (preferably into the dishwasher), wash bathroom floor and toilet, clean the toothpaste goo out of the sink, remove all over flowing laundry baskets (and heaps of clothes on the floor of the boys bedroom), sweep dog out of the house, tidy play room, vacuum boys bedroom and shove all loose stuffed animals into the closet, close doors to all other rooms. Collapse in exhaustion and hope all this work is not undone before the guests arrive in one hour.

Oh well, off to wash the floors in the kitchen and bathroom (the rooms most likely to be seen) and to finish the laundry (so it isn’t piled on the floor) and… well then it will be time to cook dinner. I guess the visitors will need to wait until tomorrow.

Let’s be honest- when you approach the school gym the day of Kindergarten Registration you will have butterflies in your stomach. You will anticipate the assembled group of experts waiting with pen in hand to judge you- I mean your child- and you will want to turn tail and run before they get a chance to see your nametag and check you off the list.

Wanting to be prepared you attended the Parent Information Night three weeks ago. You read every shred of information they sent you in the Registration Packet five times and then spent one full night organizing a color coded folder with items 1-23 checked off on the front page. You have scoured the Internet for Kindergarten readiness tests and have found no problem areas for your child. You know that at some point during the registration your child will be led down the hallway to a room with the Assessment Team. It is composed of the Occupational Therapist who will test muscle control, the Speech Therapist who will screen out those children who will need Speech Therapy, the Educational Screener who will quiz your child on the letters and numbers and finally the Social Worker who will do something called a Social Adjustment Battery. After hearing that parents will not be allowed to go with them you realize the Social Adjustment test is finding the children who can walk down the hallway with a stranger and not end up as a puddle on the floor.

You gave your child the pep talk last month, last week and again this morning. It goes something like this “I know I always tell you not to talk to strangers honey but it is OK to go with this group of people who I have never met before and answer all the mystery questions they will ask you. I will be in the building, somewhere. If you cry they will just make us go through this again another day so please just answer their questions like a big kid. I’ll take you out for ice cream afterwards if you don’t throw yourself on the ground at any point during the meeting. Smile honey, it won’t be that bad.”

At the building you take one deep breath, smile at your child and are through the door. There is a flurry of activity as you organize reams of paperwork into color-coded boxes and your child is whisked away to jump on one foot and say her ABC’s. Surprised by how easily she leaves you and listening for screams from down the hallway, you continue to deal with the paperwork, a meeting with the Principal about any children you don’t want in the same class as your child and whether you went to the library story hour (for grant purposes). There is then a presentation by the librarian about the reading club, a short presentation by the bus garage on bus safety and a table with flyers to pass through. You take them all just in case you ever need food stamps or hockey camp.

Four other Moms are there and following the presentations you chitchat over coffee and cookies about the amount of paperwork that was needed and which preschool your child attends. Every 30 seconds you find yourself sneaking a peek at the door. One of the other Moms points out that she can always spot the first time Kindergarten parents. You aren’t sure if that is an insult since she is obviously noticing that you are constantly looking past her shoulder, but she smiles sweetly so you don’t feel so bad.

Finally, what seems like hours later, your little one comes skipping into the room with five other children and a smiling lady. The Social Worker introduces herself, shakes your hand and tells your child she will see her in the fall. You give your baby a great big hug and ask her to tell you all about the meetings she had. She tells you she was able to throw a basketball into a bucket on the first try and that she said her R three times.

Then she takes your hand and tells you it is time for ice cream.

I was at a family party the other day and it came up in conversation again. You know it, the age old question for stay at home Moms. “So your little one starts Kindergarten in the fall, what are you going to do with all your free time?” I had been excited about this prospect too, for a split second. Then I realized the dilemma I was in. Should I be excited that the little one was going to be at school every day? Could I say, “Enjoy it”?

I am not ready to make a plan yet. Lucky me that I can say this but I want to give myself some time to just enjoy the bit of freedom that I will be offered. Filling all my hours before I can even enjoy them would be like spending a tax refund before it came in the mail. It can be fun to hold it and dream on it a little bit.

I can’t imagine what it will be like to have a few hours to myself every day. I gleefully chuckled at the prospect of grocery shopping without rushing around like a crazy woman. I have gotten pretty good at getting a week’s worth of groceries bagged and in the trunk in one and a half hours flat. I always go when the little one is in preschool.

I even entertained saying I would be going to the gym again. Right now the only time I have to myself is two-hour blocks of time three mornings a week (minus helping days, school vacations and sick kid days). As much as it sounds good I was not about to give up my only quiet time during the week sweating on a treadmill.

Then there is the work option. That sounds good too. I could get a part time job a few mornings a week. I might be able to find something flexible enough that I would be able to actually bring my paycheck home instead of giving it to a babysitter. I could even volunteer somewhere. Building my resume back up sounds really nice after seven years at home with the kids.

At the party I answered with “I’m not sure yet” when asked what I would do with all my time. Soon enough the kids will be in a different place, older and more independent and I will fill my time with planned activities. Right now I’m going to hold my time and dream on it a little bit.

It is a Friday afternoon and my six year old has decided to start the weekend on the couch. He has set himself up in front of the television with a drink, a snack and layers of pillows and blankets. His brother fights over the other end of the couch, which has been taken over by the stuffed animal brigade. He has laid out his plan for the next two hours, which is to sit on the couch and watch a cartoon movie. He does not plan to move and has planted himself firmly in his nest.

Last year I would have discouraged this behavior. Getting ready to spend a couple of hours in front of the television was not a way I wanted him to learn to relax. This year is different.

This year he goes to school and has to stay focused on his behavior and homework and extra credit math assignments. He gets to play for a little while but this is always interrupted with the idea of school lurking in the background. It is a school night so bedtime is 8pm. It is a school night so bath before bed. It is a school night so you have to finish your homework before dinner. Any Mom knows the drill; during the week school is the focus of everything even when school is over for the day.

He handled all of these things wonderfully, only bellyaching about homework one night this week. Today is Friday and the end of a long week of thinking all the time. Tomorrow is Saturday and we will fill it with all the weekend activities that pile up when kids get school age. Once you get a certain age it is hard to find the time or peace to just be a slug.

Friday has a new meaning in our house this year. It is an ending to a long week of work, doing what is right and keeping it all together. Friday night is the time for a release. The one night he can forget about all the things that he should be doing for tomorrow and just experience Friday night freedom.

I think I will join him

One of the hardest things for me about being a stay at home mom is spending time with my girlfriends. No, I mean without the kids! Play dates can be great but the conversation leaves a lot to be desired, like a complete sentence. Conversations usually go something like this. “So we went to the ….let Billy play with your dinosaur, honey… So we went to the museum…I’ll get you a snack in a little while, go play… So we went to the museum at the plaza… the movie isn’t over yet sweetie those were just the previews…. Where did we go again?”

My girlfriend Jill and I are in the same situation so we try to get out to the movies every once in a while. It is amazing how hard it can be. We try planning ahead and inevitably one of the kids will get sick. We try being spur of the moment and the hubbies can’t get home early enough because they didn’t have enough notice. We plan it a couple days ahead and the car will break down or one of our hubbies will have a last minute disaster at work and not be able to get home early enough for a 7pm show.

Once we have the date set getting out the door is another obstacle. These are children we are dealing with here and to hope that they will be cooperative and docile for their Dad after his long day at work can sometimes be asking too much. I usually end up staying until everyone is calm and settled so the guilt does not butt it’s annoying head into my night out. Leaving the house with an upset child (or Dad!) ruins the whole plan.

Once in a while the stars align themselves and my girlfriend and I end up in a little coffee house somewhere gabbing over a very large chocolate brownie. We talk about the kids, our hubbies and catch up on the latest gossip. It is wonderful! Then we go to a chick flick where we laugh at the young, single, beautiful people falling in and out and back into love.

It is probably so much fun for me because it is so hard to come by. I am always surprised at how quickly we get through all of the topics we had been saving just for this girl time. Full sentences can come out quickly when kids are not distracting your train of thought.

I love…just a minute, sweetie…my girl’s…dinner is in a half hour don’t fill up on junk now…. night out…you’ll be working late, I understand…When can we have another one? I’m looking forward to it.

The point of this post is not to offend any working Moms who take their kids to daycare. Considered it myself. It really was a comment on the very biased report about a study “reported” about on the Early Show on CBS. Hannah Storm cheerfully puh puh’d away any negatives found in the study (which were really not many) and they followed up with a story about how to find good daycare.

It struck me as very funny and completely biased. But I watched the report, went to their website to comment and here I am again. Good job to them!